[I will admit, my last post on Teinturier grapes (I'm sorry, say WHHHAAAATT?) was a tad tiny bit overtly nerdy. So, to compensate, I offer you a dorky-terminology free post]When attending tastings, I always see people make a comment, and then look around wildly to gain the approval of the group. Either that, or you get that one musty smelling, suspender wearing jerk who describes the wine as "a breath of jasmine air."
While I could easily guide you to a wine aroma wheel to ensure you never become the aforementioned odorous fellow,(http://www.aromaster.com/winearomawheel) it is far more interesting to give you some real life examples. So I offer you the below industry & society accepted wine descriptions that will guarantee you appear like a knowledgeable wine enthusiast and not like that dude to the right wearing a beret.
"This wine.....
OK: is mysterious
NOPE!: has the essence of the second chapter of an Agatha Cristie novel
OK: has notes of worn in leather
NOPE!: Smells like a European saddle
OK: smells like the dried strawberries found in 'Special K Redberries'
NOPE!: Smells like the French Provence after a summer rain
OK: has notes of peach cobbler
NOPE!: has notes of a punch in the face (even if that is what may happen to him after the summer rain comment)
OK:smells like freshly cut grass
NOPE!: smells like freshly cut toe nails (Gross... PUNCH HIM!)
OK: tastes like prune
NOPE!: tastes like a grandma eating a prune
OK: smells like feet (really! its OK!)
NOPE!: smells like a European queen's feet during the Dark Ages
OK: is tight
NOPE!: is like a highschool.. OK OK OK! that is all folks... and for the record, I was referring to a wine that needs to breathe a.k.a. aerate to reduce the tannin structure!
Jeez! Get your head out of the gutter...
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Special Thank You to my college friend Phil for brainstorming with me the above inappropriate wine descriptors during a 20's something night of drunken revalry during a recent business trip to Florida.)
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