Wine Flaws - 3 Major Reasons Your Wine Stinks

It happens to the best of us - crikes, it happened to me last night (Hence why I am not writing to you about Macedonian Pinot Noir)...you open up a bottle of wine, after waiting all day at work for the  moment the delicious juice can pass your lips, only to be overwhelmed by the distinct desire to spit it out instantaneously upon contact.

Don't worry, its not you - its your wine.

Approximately 3% of all wines are flawed in some capacity & whether due to improper handling conditions, microbial (non-harmful except to flavor), or the infamous TCA or "corked" wine, they all result in a less then desirable drinking experience.

But how do you know your wine just sucks or if it stinks? Below, I outline the 3 main culprits of wine flaws & how you can spot them. Good news is bring any of these to the attention of your server or wine shop manager - and most good ones will quickly give you a new bottle on the house.

1. "Corked" Wine: Wines that are affected by TCA, or trichloroanisole account for the majority of flawed wines. The culprit stems from the process by which they clean the corks before selling them to wineries. While most of the molecule dissolves off the cork before being inserted into your bottle, some corks just don't let go - until your wine is sitting there vulnerable & within its grasp.

This agent causes wines to smell & taste like a moldy damp basement, filled with wet dogs lying on cardboard & eating a bowl of mushrooms. While the severity of TCA varies, even at low levels it can strip a wine of its fruitiness, leaving you to taste an unbalanced mess of grimy acidity & wet earth flavors.

2. Oxidation: No, your wine will never form rust on it, but it can become oxidized, and in many wines - much more quickly then you would think. While several types of oxidation actually create great complex wines, like in great aged Bordeaux's, or help a young tannic California Cabernet become more drinkable, overly oxidized wine is nothing to brag about.

As a drinker, you have 4 opportunities to decipher if your wine is oxidized: 1) The cork. The only reason why your server places the cork on your table after opening a wine is for you to inspect it. Is there a red dribble of wine from bottom to top? That's a sure sign your wine has been aerating for much longer then desired. 2) The Color. You can also spot an overly oxidized wine based upon its color in reference to the age of the wine. Is your 2 year Chardonnay looking a tad brassy? or is your newly purchased Pinot have distinctly brown edges? 3) The Nose. Smelling your wine leaves you with your third clue - oxidized wines simply just don't smell like much - a big difference from the corked aromas noted above. 4) The taste. Oxidized wines have greatly reduced fruit notes and if any fruit notes are present they are in the skin / dried fruit spectrum. Overall the acid and tannins will just taste way out of whack - even leaning towards vinegar in very dramatic cases.

As both white & red wines oxidize or age, they both turn a brick orange / brown

3. Brett: Short for Brettanomyces, Brett is a yeast found within wood wine barrels that creates the barnyard notes found in some wines. Typically only found in red's (as these are the wines that are most likely to use a barrel for ageing), Brett can actually enhance a wine at low levels & are preferred by some drinkers. However, at higher levels, these complex barnyard notes become distinctively "horsey" and overall unpleasant. Brett will not change the color of the wine, so the best place to detect is within the nose or bouquet of the wine.


As for my Pinot Noir from the Republic of Macedonia - well its browned edges and notes of leather, mushrooms, tea leaves, & zero fruit was quickly tossed down the kitchen sink. But have no fear - there is always another bottle just waiting for the chance to not dissapoint.

"SkinnyGirl"s Night - My Girl Friends Review "Real Housewife's" New Wine Blends

The first time I told a friend about this blog, she asked "Are you going to review the new SkinnyGirl wines?" Well, as I am never one to turn down any ideas, I recently purchased all three SkinnyGirl wine blends, White, Rose, & Red  and brought them to my esteemed wine critiques specifically chosen for the job: my girlfriends.

The Judges:

• Lauren, the white lover - bright & bubbly, she will happily walk out of beer tasting to a bar across the street to get herself a glass of white.
• Nancy, the sweet & pink gal - I have been trying to get Nancy to drink other wines over the past couple months, but alas to no avail.
• Michelle, red & ready. Michelle can always be found drinking red's with our wine loving guy friends.
• Plus myself to mitigate in case things got ugly -  although that's impossible with these ladies :)

The Defendant:
Bethenny Frankel, of The Real Housewifes of New York Fame, lauched a line of pre-mixed cocktails & wines that all claim to be under 100 calories a glass. The Margarita mix, which took off in sorority circles across the country (and what I found to be less preferable than the saline water they use at the dentist when you have braces in middle school) lead the way for this new catagory of skinny & health centric alcoholic beverages.

(They have to take the fun out everything don't they...)

Under review were her blended wines: a generic White Blend, Rose Blend, and Red Blend. The wines specifically are 100 calories for a 5 oz pour (Average Restaurant pours range from 4.5-6oz)

The Evidence:
While the idea of a WHOLE glass of wine for only the magical "100 calorie" mark may seem like a dream come true - the real truth is that most wines are only 110 calories for a 5oz pour. Below is a general breakdown:

• Dry Low-Regular Alcohol Whites & Reds: Wines like your Sauvignon Blancs, Pinots, Bordeaux, and Italian table wines are all going to only be 110 cal. / glass
• High Alcohol Reds: We all know alcohol levels are rising in hotter growing areas like California & Austrailia. Reds with alcohols above 14% like new world Syrahs & Zinfandels and some California Cabs will run you about 130 cal. / glass.
• Sweet Wines with Low Alcohol: In this catagory would be your Rieslings, some California Chards (oh you think they are dry, but many grocery story Chards have some residual sugar left), & Moscatos will have have about 130 - 150 cal./glass
• Dessert wines: Well these wines will stick you with a higher caloric bill having both sugar & alcohol and can stretch into the 200s for just a 4 oz pour.*

The Verdict:

White Blend: Overall, this was our top pick of the three, and to be honest, the only one really worth buying. An unknown white blend (I've look everywhere for what's in it  - nothing), it focused on floral notes of lime blossom, white lilly, baby's breath, & honey suckle along with fruit notes like nectarine, kiwi, pineapple. Aka., it hit all the girly white wine marks... but I will grant that it was refreshing. Per our white wine judge Lauren: "Yeah, I'd drink that." Overall, this wine was made for coktail parties where little food is being served & unless you are sticking to your diet and are only eating a light summer salad for dinner - has nothing much to bring to the table. We gave it a solid 7/10

Rose: While it got Nancy's approval - it was tentative at best, & at its $13 dollar price point, she definitely said she would still just rather buy the $5 Sutter Home White Zinfandel version and forgo the caloric benefit. She's right. The Rose, while made with Nancy in mind, had to take away most of what girls like her enjoy in their wines, a smooth, lightly sweet treat. With the sugar down, the tannins of the light touch of grape skins appeared rougher then myself or Nancy prefered. 5/10

Red Blend: I knew this wine wouldn't pass muster with Lauren or Nancy, but Michelle wasn't having any of it either - and rightfully so. This wine was the definition of a "disjointed wine" : a wine whose fruit notes (typically tasted on the front of the palate) did not ever connect with the tannins on the back of the palate. Whereas all winemakers aim to have these two elements, along with acidity, walk together hand in hand like happy-go-lucky school girls, this wine definately just suffered a girl-fight. Notes of red fruit like rasberrys, strawberries, & red plum skin shot evil glances across the playground at the moca & tobacco flavors. At the end of the day ladies, only serve this red blend to the fatty who stole your boyfriend. 2/10 with make-up on.

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Overall, if you want to save 10 calories while at the same time spending more money - go ahead and get the SkinnyGirl wines. Me & my girls - we are just going to stick with doing a couple more lunges :)

*Note: I have had several individuals show me their fancy calorie counter apps which say that a glass of red table wine is up to 260 calories. Politely - BS. I have consulted a couple Master Sommeliers & very educated wine shop owners who all agree with the above caloric descriptions.

Languedoc Garage Band of Flavor

One of my first posts described an excellent white wine from the Languedoc region or "Midi" of France - Moulin de Gassac's Guilhem white blend (Granche Blanc, Sasuvignon Blanc, & Clariette). Today I would love to also draw your attention to their red blend of 40% Syrah, 25% Grenache, 15% Carignan, & 20% Mourvedre.

As I have often touted, blends, especially for the red wines of the world, are absolutely the best place to land when looking for a high quality "value wine". For those newer readers, I give you my go-to similie:

Single varietial wines are like a one man band. That one guy has to play all the instraments - and more importantly play them well: drums, guitar, sing, play the cymbals with his knees. The likelihood of finding a pretty good one man band for the cheap? Good luck.  Now lets look at blends. Blends are like your everyday garage band. One guy is a solid guidarist, another plays the drums and another can actually sing pretty darn well; although each grape would just be another struggling musician alone, together they make a good, and at times, great sounding band. So, for a little cover charge, we actually get to listen to decently solid music. Bands don't need a solo star as long as everyone brings their particular talent to the stage - and so is the story with blended wines.

What notes do each grape play in this particular wine?

Syrah  - the Guitarist: Earthy round spice. It carries the melody.
Granche  -  the Lead Singer: It showcases those attributes to hear first of strawberry/cherry earthiness and notes of bay leaf
Carignan - The Back-up Singer & Guitarist: added primarily for volume & color being it grows easily (unlike the ficle Pinot Noir) is  softens the melodies of the band.
Mourvedre - The Dummer: brings the backbone of drying tannin & underlying black fruit

Together this blend plays a nose of a freshly opened bag of Crazins & bay leaf. The palate is similar to velvet: soft yet drying, with earthy components such as thyme stalks, along with dried cherries, and (for all the Special K Red Berries fans out there) the taste of dehydrated strawberries. Overall the blend is indicitive of the classic flavors achieved in the next door Southern Rhone region, but, as always, for a 1/3rd of the price at betwen only $9-12 per bottle.

A wine designed to drink with food, pair with "Provincal" foods such as sauages, dark meat chicken, and roasts such as lamb and pork sholder. The fat in these dishes will cut that inital drying tannin and allow the singer, Grenache, to really be heard.

Oh Holy (Humble) Argentina!!!

With Pope Fracis' inauguration today, Argentina is certainly going to be getting a lot of attention from both Catholic & non-Christian drinkers alike - like we needed another reason to drink its delicious wines...

While many may quickly pick up the great Malbec or the growing in popularity Torrontes (see post "Mendoza & The Queen of Argentina" ), in honor of Pope Fracis' humble ways, I recommend the workhorse grape of Mendoza: Bonarda.

Bonarda is the 2nd most planted red grape in Mendoza, obviously behind Malbec, and garners most of its popularity inside of Argentina's boarders as an everyday humble red dinner wine. While small amounts have been exported over the past few years, it is seeing the beginning of the take off growth that Malbec had a couple years back with its name being featured more commonly in "Limited Time Offer" (LTO) spaces on restaurant wine menus.

Also known as Charbono in California, and Bonarda is nicknamed "Sweet Black" in its native land of Italy (exact origins are contested, but both stories land us in Italy). While the wines it makes are not even close to being sweet, black is definitely a descriptor showcasing blueberry & blackberry fruits along with cassias in most cases. Like its brethren Malbec, Bonarda can be made in both light, med, & full bodied styles; but in my opinion shows its deft at the ends of the spectrum - offering a new flavor to lighter styles but its true potential when in full form.

Finding a widely available Bonarda was a little tricky, but luckily one of my favorite Mendoza producers, Zuccardi, has one in their Series A portfolio for only $12. Tasting it for the first time this past Saturday at the shop alongside a bunch of regular patrons, we all agreed it is definitely an example of the full bodied black Bonarda that is personally my favorite. The color was the first thing that caught everyone's eye - a rich deep royal red with slightly rose pink edges. Even the men called it "pretty." The nose had strong notes of leather, violets, & black cherry compote with more fruit skin & dried herbs on the palate. While this wine could easily sit on the bench for 5 years or so, it had a rounder tannin structure* resembling its friend Malbec, but slightly higher acid, given a nod to its Italian roots.

Pairing suggestions? I would stick with those rustic style dark meats such as Rib Eye, Roasted or Grilled Lamb, or even an Eggplant Lasagna if vegetarian is more your style.

All in all, everyone at the shop really quite liked it, although we all agreed we may wait about 3 years from the printed date to get a bit more ripe fruit flavors. If anything, it is a delicious reminder of what a humble grape can do if given the chance to shine.

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* In further research of this wine, the rounder tannins were aided by only having 30% of this wine see oak. If you prefer heavier tannins, I would look for a Bonarda where closer to 60-80% of the juice was oak fermented or aged.

St. Patricks Day & "Green Wine"

For many of my friends, St. Patricks Day makes their list of Top Favorite Holidays. Its a day with many benefits:

1. You know exactly what you are going to wear given the small number of green things in your closet
2. You have an excuse to pinch people you don't like (Oh, I'm sorry I didn't see that green sweater you're wearing...)
3. All holidays are standard exception days from your New Years Resolution Diet
4. All cute guys & gals are immediately Irish - and asking for kisses!
5. Green food is fun

While green colored beer is a common standby for St. Patty's day festivals, a lesser known "green wine" rarely makes the scene - until now.


Workers using traditional tall ladders
during harvest of Vino Verde grapes

Vino Verde or "Green Wine" is a typically white wine that is grown in the northern regions of Portugal. While many people assume that its name alludes to its color, similar to the slight greenish hues which can be found in New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc, it actually signals the fact that this wine is meant to be drunk young or within 1 year of production. In fact, Vino Verde actually comes in all 3 wine styles: White, Rose, & Red.

I know, it blew my mind too.

In the United States however, the term Vino Verde will always be used to single the white version of this group & is a great pick for those of you that lean towards Sauvignon Blanc, Torrontes, or Pinot Grigio. It is made primarily with two grapes: Alvarinho (Al-Vah-REE-Nyoh) (same grape as Albaino in Spain) which provides the body & alcohol, and Loureiro (Yeah-I-Don't-Know-Either), which supplies the aromatic notes of key lime blossom, kiwi, & pineapple which we all love.

I recently tasted an excellent example of Vino Verde at the South Beach Food & Wine Festival - Twin Vines Vino Verde. This wine, while not technically sparkling, does have a slight petulant  feel on the palate. On the nose you defiantly smell fresh pineapple & kiwi, with a tiny bit of zippy floral. This wine is high in acid, due to the soils it is grown in, and thus has notes of limestone on the palate as well. While this wine was free at the festival, a quick online search has prices between $6-10, standard for the Vino Verde category as a whole.

Be sure to serve this wine well chilled to maximize the refreshing acidity. Pairs well with shrimp & other white fish in addition to many summer style salads; however, with an average alcohol of only 9-11% you can even pair this with just a cool seat by the pool.

One more thing for you wine dorks out there....In researching this wine for the post, I stumbled across a cool aspect. Vino Verde, while once grown close to the ground like many agriculture products, now is almost exclusively grown on very tall trellises, telephone poles, high fences, and even trees! Why? Long story short, the Portuguese are practical. They use the prime area close to the ground to grow mainstream crops for food. And since the grapes used to produce Vino Verde wines like good air circulation (to reduce rot) why not stick them high up in the air?

I almost want to give them a high-five for that one :p

Don't Be A Wine Snob 101

[I will admit, my last post on Teinturier grapes (I'm sorry, say WHHHAAAATT?) was a tad tiny bit overtly nerdy. So, to compensate, I offer you a dorky-terminology free post]

When attending tastings, I always see people make a comment, and then look around wildly to gain the approval of the group. Either that, or you get that one musty smelling, suspender wearing jerk who describes the wine as "a breath of jasmine air."

While I could easily guide you to a wine aroma wheel to ensure you never become the aforementioned odorous fellow,(http://www.aromaster.com/winearomawheel) it is far more interesting to give you some real life examples. So I offer you the below industry & society accepted wine descriptions that will guarantee you appear like a knowledgeable wine enthusiast and not like that dude to the right wearing a beret.

"This wine.....

OK: is mysterious
NOPE!: has the essence of the second chapter of an Agatha Cristie novel

OK: has notes of worn in leather
NOPE!: Smells like a European saddle

OK: smells like the dried strawberries found in 'Special K Redberries'
NOPE!: Smells like the French Provence after a summer rain

OK: has notes of peach cobbler
NOPE!: has notes of a punch in the face (even if that is what may happen to him after the summer rain comment)

OK:smells like freshly cut grass
NOPE!: smells like freshly cut toe nails (Gross... PUNCH HIM!)

OK: tastes like prune
NOPE!: tastes like a grandma eating a prune

OK: smells like feet (really! its OK!)
NOPE!: smells like a European queen's feet during the Dark Ages

OK: is tight
NOPE!: is like a highschool.. OK OK OK! that is all folks... and for the record, I was referring to a wine that needs to breathe a.k.a. aerate to reduce the tannin structure!

Jeez! Get your head out of the gutter...

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Special Thank You to my college friend Phil for brainstorming with me the above inappropriate wine descriptors during a 20's something night of drunken revalry during a recent business trip to Florida.)

A Winter Thaw & an Italian Merlot

March 1st is the day when summer lovers know that their favorite time of year is only around the corner: longer sunnier days, barbecues, long vacations, and yes lighter wines. But while our palates may be longing for the tastes of summer, the winter weather is still drifting snow over most of the country, and as such we still need some good red wines to warm us up until we can finally turn off the radiator for the season.

This "winter thaw" provides the perfect time for some alternative red wines beyond the classic heavy American & French Cabernet (like we can afford most of those anyway :P), and that is exactly the second wine I found at the Tuscany tasting I attended 2 weeks ago.

Podere Ciona's Semifonte is a unique member of the class of Super Tuscans in that it is Merlot based and instead of Sangiovese (the grape of Chianti) it contains a little known grape called Alicante Bouschet (Al-Ee-CAN-Tay   Boo-SCHET).

Alicante Bouschet is part of a very small collection of grapes called Teinturier (Tin-Tur-Ee-AY) grapes. What sets these grapes apart is they have red juice in addition to their red skins.

Most wine grapes are similar to table grapes, while their skins may be one color, their juice is always clear. The color found in red wines, as we know, come from the skins which sit with the juice either before or during fermentation. However, Teinturier grapes have both red skins & red juice. So what does this mean for the wines they create?

These grapes give the wine a very unique tannin structure. Whereas tannins from wood are felt along the sides of the mouth & cheeks, and grape skin tannins cling to the teeth, grape juice tannins are much softer and are present in the middle of the palate creating a rich dense wine.

Whereas most wines with teinturier grapes contain only 5-10%, this wine has a whooping 25% providing a really unique juicy structure. This in combination with the 75% Merlot made for one tasty wine with notes of tart red and black fruits like black cherry. Common to most Italian wines, this wine also showcases notes of fresh basil and vanilla from the french oak.

This wine is a smaller producer, less then 5000 cases so online or a shop that specializes in Boutique producers is going to be your best bet to find this wine. At $20 this maxes our budget, but was just too cool of a wine to keep its small production all to myself :)